Bread from Heaven for the Weary Wanderer
If we are all completely honest with ourselves, there’s a bit of good (by God’s grace), some bad (sin nature), and some straight up ugly in each of us. I’m going to let you in on a little bit of my straight up ugly. I spent some time this year with the following thought pattern: What kind of God saves a person from ultimate danger (hell) and then “leaves” them to live a long and painful life? I have always heard it said that if God never did another thing for me in my life I would still have so much to be thankful for because He saved me from my sin. But if someone adopted a child from absolute destitution, poverty, and abuse, only to be absent during the struggles of his new life would we still consider that person a good father? Sure the child may no longer be at risk of exploitation and death on the streets, but when the science project has to be done, when he gets a stomach bug in the middle of the night, when the bullies start circling, the one who “saved” him is nowhere to be found and the child is helpless, scared, and alone. That’s what God did, I thought. Sure, He saved me from sin and hell, but after that I felt that He had just left me to fend for myself in this ugly broken world, and He then wanted my thanks for it.
Perhaps your ugly doesn’t fall too far from mine, or maybe it takes a slightly different shade. But I would guess that many of us find it difficult at times to be thankful for salvation because of the mess God has “left” you in afterward. He saved you and then it feels as though He has dumped you. You know who else felt this way? The Israelites. Yeah, those ungrateful Israelites. The ones that I always thought were brats with short term memory loss and absolutely zero perspective. As I’ve lived a little longer, and wandered in the wilderness of caring for someone with mental illness (who happens to be nearing hospitalization due to a long, intense episode of mania), I’ve found myself relating to those Israelites when they said “Why did you bring us out of Egypt just to let us go hungry in the desert?” I get it. Their question makes sense to me. It’s so similar to my heart’s most desperate question: “Why did you save us from our sins just to let us suffer in this broken world?” Instead of being discouraged by relating to such ugly people, the relatability is opening my heart to receive the message of Exodus 16 more readily than I ever have before. The message the Israelites needed to hear then is the message I need to hear today. My heart is ready to receive the manna, the bread from heaven.
Relating to this text as a brat with short term memory loss and zero perspective is doing three things for me, and I share them with you in hope that they will do these same three things for you. This text 1) gives perspective to our perspectives, 2) shines a spotlight on God’s gracious response to our complaints, and 3) reminds us of the promise of manna for today.
Perspective on Our Perspectives
My husband won’t watch a TV show in which the characters are totally messing things up for themselves. You know those shows where you get to see the broader perspective and it gets frustrating because if only the characters could see the broader perspective that you can see they wouldn’t be messing things up so terribly? Yeah, he has quit shows right in the middle, shows that I am very invested in, because it drives him nuts. And that drives me nuts. But I digress. My point is that a broader perspective shines a light on the mistakes that are made when perspectives are small. I’d argue that that is one of the reasons God has given us His Word. It offers us a broader perspective. We see ourselves in the Israelites, and we are meant to. The story of Moses, the Exodus, the wilderness wandering, and the promise of the land of milk and honey looks forward to and is a type of Jesus, our deliverance from sin, living in the wilderness of this broken world, and the promise of eternal, perfect life. As we read the story of the Israelites, we get to see the broader perspective of their circumstances, and given that their circumstances are a foreshadowing of ours, it follows that we also get to see the broader perspective of our own circumstances as well. Let that sink in. Maybe read that sentence a couple of times. When we read about the Israelites and their shortsighted lack of perspective, we might want to shake them and tell them a thing or two based on what we know about their story from beginning to end. And what we would say to them is exactly what we should be saying to ourselves. Our perspective on their story offers us perspective on our own.
So, what would I say to the Israelites, knowing what I know? I would acknowledge that it’s no small thing to be hungry, whether that be spiritual or physical hunger. We are desperately needy. We are wondering how God plans to get us through the dry and desolate wilderness, just as the Israelites wondered how they would eat to survive in their literal wilderness. Their complaint lacked perspective, but it wasn’t unfounded. Food is necessary to sustain life. It’s no small thing to be hungry. But it’s also no small thing to be in the hands of Yahweh. He saved them from Egypt, He would not let them perish in the desert. He saved you from eternal destruction, He will not let you ultimately perish under the weight of your suffering. Romans 8:32 says “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” We need to pan out. When you are looking at a long life of caring for someone with OCD, Bi-Polar Disorder, or Autism Spectrum Disorder, it can feel like an emotional, spiritual wilderness. In fact, it is a wilderness. When you look around, there very well may be nothing to get you through, and it very much looks like God has left you alone with nothing. But the truth of the matter is that God brought you to this wilderness, and He will provide in it, mostly likely in a way that will force daily dependence on Him. Day to day you will not be able to plan for your survival or see how it will all work out. You will have to trust that Yahweh will provide, simply because He said He would.
God’s Gracious Response to Our Complaints
I can’t tell you how many times I have planned a wonderful day for my kids only to be met with ungratefulness at the end. We could have had a meal out, a trip to the zoo with friends, extra effort to bring a change of clothes so that they could play in the splash pad, maybe even ice cream. Then, at the end they want a toy at the gift shop and I say no. Commence whining and crying and the emphatic declaration that “this is the worst day ever”. Wow. Talk about a brat with short term memory loss and zero perspective. I’m sure you’ve been there too, and I’d love to hear about how you respond, because I have to say, grace is not my go to in these particular moments. Thank God, literally, that it is for God. When the Israelites behaved this way after been freed from 400 years of brutal, violent slavery, God heard their complaint and He provided.
Exodus 16:4 says “Then the Lord said to Moses ‘Behold, I am about to rain bread from heaven for you, and the people shall go out and gather a day’s portion every day.” He sends them exactly what they wished they had. God hears their grumbling, and He provides for them. But He goes on and provides very specific instructions: they were only to take enough for the day. Anything they had left at the end of the day would spoil by the next day. They would need to depend on Him daily for their bread, their sustenance. And He made His intentions clear “that you may know that I am God.”
His message was plain: “Yes, I saved you, and then I brought you out here. I have taken you away from your false, enslaving security. Yes, you are in the wilderness, a place of danger, discomfort, uncertainty, and scarcity. Yes, it is is hopeless. You are needy. I am your only hope out here. And I will provide. I will feed you. You will be full. You will know that I am God. You must trust Me.”
He heard the Israelites’ needy complaints, and He saw their very real hunger. He also saw their need for a heart tune up. In His infinite wisdom and grace He took care of their spiritual and physical needs in one divine act. By sending bread he satiated their physical hunger. By sending bread He rebuked their complaint. By sending bread He showed them that He is God, pointed out the foolishness of their desire to return to Egypt, and the imbecility of the idea that He wasn’t trustworthy to get them through the desert. By sending bread He set them back on track, to trusting the only One that could truly provide for them, the only One that could satisfy their every hunger. He didn’t take them out of the wilderness, although He could have. He didn’t tell them His long term plan, although He could have. He didn’t check them into a five star hotel, although He could have. But when they expressed their need, He heard their cry, and He graciously provided what they needed that day: physical food and a spiritual realignment. He was gracious. He gave them comfort and hope in the wilderness. They knew they were not alone. They knew He was God.
This year God provided for me this way. When I cried out to Him, whining and crying– God why did you save me to leave me weak and alone, He restored my soul. He illuminated His Word and allowed it to speak to and comfort the deepest parts of me. He gave me Bread from Heaven. By sending this Bread, He satiated by spiritual hunger and restored my strength. By sending Bread he rebuked my complaint. By sending Bread He showed me that He is God, and pointed out the foolishness of my desire to abandon Him in favor of sinful comforts for my pain. By sending Bread He confronted the imbecility of my idea that He wasn’t trustworthy to get me through the desert. By sending Bread He graciously set me back on track, trusting the only One that can truly provide for me, the only One that can satisfy my every hunger and ease my every pain. He is so gracious to meet the needs we know about and cry out about, and those that go much deeper that. He hasn’t left you in the wilderness. He hasn’t saved you and then dumped you in the desert. He graciously provides for you there. He provides manna day by day. Our job is to depend and eat.
Manna for Today
One day at a time. What a biblical phrase. I’ve never thought of it that way before, but now when someone asks me how I’m doing, I say “taking it one day at a time” and I mean it in the most spiritual sense possible. We wake up each day, receiving from the Lord what we need for that day. As humans in a world that provides the illusion of control (I can turn my tea kettle on from my bed and it’s a total game changer) it is scary and perhaps frustrating that God doesn’t give us a road map for how He will sustain us through the rest of our lives. I feel weary and I don’t know how I can do this for another day much less another thirty years. But God asks me to worry about today (Matthew 6:30), and He provides one day at a time, on purpose. He provides us very real grace and strength for this day. We make it through the wilderness by daily dependence on Him. You can’t possibly stock up enough spiritual strength to make it through a dark season of depression with your spouse. You can’t possibly store up enough patience to endure a long week of meltdowns with your adult autistic loved one. You can’t possibly stock up enough peace to come along your young daughter during an episode of psychosis. You can’t possibly store up enough self control to keep your cool with your child with ADHD. You must come to Him each day, each hour, each minute, receiving His provision.
And His provision is Jesus Himself. In John 6:22-59 Jesus declares Himself to be the true bread from heaven. He refers back to the manna provided in the wilderness, but reminds His hearers that those who ate that manna died. Those who eat the truebread will never die. We have Jesus in our wilderness, and Jesus will get us to eternity. So yes, God saved us and brought us out into a dangerous, uncomfortable, uncertain, scarce wilderness. Many of us are in truly hopeless situations, but He has not left us without provision there. It seems that way because He is providing as you go. This isn’t like stocking up at Costco. It’s like driving until empty not having any idea when the next gas station is coming, but trusting it will be there when you need it. It looks hopeless because without dependence on His promise, it quite literally is. But He has declared Himself to be our hope. Exodus 16:35 reads “The people of Israel ate the manna forty years, till they came to a habitable land.” I love that. He has promised daily provision, until we reach our ultimate and perfect home. Until then, dependence, dependence, dependence.
But the reality is, you have to eat. God rained manna from heaven, but the Israelites had to collect it and then eat it. God has provided His Son Jesus, and His beautiful, life-giving Word as sustenance in our wilderness. But we have to partake, we have to eat. We have to engage with His Word. That may look different in different seasons. Part of God’s provision is in the many wise and dedicated servants who have taken His Word and distributed it into manageable chunks for weary, busy caretakers. We pray, “give us this day our daily bread”, and then we consume what is given us. Chew it up, digest it, and let it fuel your day.
Bind My Wandering Heart to Thee
One of my favorite hymns is Come Thou Fount, and one of my favorite lines in this favorite hymn goes like this: Let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee.
I’m wandering in the wilderness. We all are. None of us are in a habitable land yet. Some days may feel lush, and many others may feel very dry and weary. Let us learn from the story of the Israelites and get some perspective. Let us boldly approach the throne and ask God for provision in our time of need. That is exactly what God wants us to do. He will graciously provide for our deepest needs, day by day. Let us eat of Him, chewing on His Word, which gives us life. We may not believe that it will fill us up as much as a good Netflix binge or a bottle of wine, just as the Israelites believed the Egyptians would provide better than God would. But let’s not be brats with short term memory loss and zero perspective. Let’s be wilderness wanderers bound to our Savior, sustained and pressing on to the land of milk and honey. To a habitable land. Man, does that sound good.