New Mercies for Weary Parents
Anyone else have a rough week? We did. Can’t say I’m sad to say goodbye to the troubles of yesterday. But I also can’t say I’m looking forward to the troubles of tomorrow. As I plan for the week ahead, God reminded me that His mercies really and truly are new each morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) and that the frequency of this verse’s recitation doesn’t diminish its sustaining truth. God designed the rhythm of the day and the night, ending and beginning, for many reasons to be sure, but I think one of them is certainly to offer weary parents the opportunity to begin again with fresh mercies and fresh strength for whatever lies ahead.
Begin Again with New Mercy
God gave us a good day today (so far), with bright smiles and sisterly cooperation. He also graciously gave me the presence of mind to notice it. In doing so, he dropped this drip into my heart, and now I drop it onto your screen: be aware of and humbly embrace the opportunity to begin again each day, each hour, each breath, in God’s sustaining mercy.
One of the hardest practices of raising a child with developmental or psychiatric disability is to begin again, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. The world has co-opted the incredibly wise call to be present, but this truth is God’s truth. Scripture calls us to remember that today is today, and that tomorrow will take care of itself (Matthew 6:30). Scripture calls us to stillness, and to the remembrance of who holds your day in His hands (Psalm 46).
I find that this particularly applies to raising an autistic child who wakes up very differently each day. Some days are grueling and hard, full of compulsive behavior and volatile emotions. Others are precious and sweet, full of creativity, kindness, and intelligence. While God knows what each day will bring, I certainly wake up in the dark (literally and figuratively).
Today is Not Yesterday
As I reflect on this reality, I feel God’s gentle urging to refrain from importing yesterday’s meltdowns into my outlook for today. I also feel him challenging me not to assume yesterday’s successes to be a linear journey. My job today is to keep my hand to the plough for this day, that believe it or not, He has made. I gently urge you to do the same. Let go of the day behind, and take this day as it comes. If we pull yesterday’s pain into today, we may miss precious moments of growth and joy. If we expect yesterday’s peace to continue into today, we risk incredible disappointment which can lead to despair. Keep today’s joys and sorrows where they belong: today.
Today is Not Tomorrow
In the same way, I feel God reminding me that today is today, and not tomorrow, for tomorrow has cares or it’s own. This principle both encourages me to be present and engaged when it’s peaceful, and to be ever hopeful when it’s not. Tomorrow, truly is a new day with new mercy. Kathy Keller has wisely pointed out that God does not offer theoretical grace— He gives real grace for real trouble. His grace is for today, not for all of the potential troubles that may or may not come your way. When you reach tomorrow, there will be grace for you then too, whether that comes in the form of a refreshing day or a discouraging one. To keep today’s joys and today’s worries where they belong: today.
The Gift of Rhythm
Lamentations 3:22-23 confidently asserts that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Each day, no matter how hard it was, ends. And sure enough, night turns to dawn which turns to day, and the sun will always rise, bringing with it new mercy. The steady rhythm of ending and beginning exists on a macro scale with the coming and going of the seasons, and on a micro scale with the coming and going of each breath. These rhythms of life are a gracious gift that we ought to take notice of and utilize for the refreshment they were designed for. Go to sleep, wake up, begin again. New mercy. School drop off done, school pick up done. Begin again. New mercy. Table set, dinner enjoyed (or refused), table cleared. Begin again. New mercy. Breathe in, breathe out. Begin again. New Mercy. The rhythms come and they go, but the steadfast love, mercy, and faithfulness of God remains constant, beckoning you back, in every moment, to the sustaining power of Jesus, encouraging you to continually bring your eyes back to what is constant when your days feel uncertain. Today is not yesterday. Today is not tomorrow. Today is today. Live it for whatever it is in the knowledge of His ever present love and mercy.
xo,
Em